


Refrigerator Soldier

by Bleeding_Rust



Series: Captain Crack Fic [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), captain america: the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Some feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleeding_Rust/pseuds/Bleeding_Rust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to the inexplicable popularity of the 15th floor kitchen and battles over left-over storage space, Tony installs the Avengers Refrigerator. It is a sacred space for all who live in the tower...until a mysterious individual starts causing mischief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Refrigerator Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place after the events of Winter Soldier (so there are some mild spoilers here if you haven't seen the movie yet). Everyone is now living happily at the Avengers Tower. Don't ask me how they all got there, they're just there. Enjoy (I hope)!

Something was amiss with the Avengers Refrigerator, the freezer portion to be specific. Was there more than one refrigerator in Avengers Tower? Yes. Did any of the Avengers use any of the others, as Tony so frequently pleaded (C’mon guys, I put more than one kitchen in this place for a reason)? No. Due to the inexplicable popularity of the 15th floor kitchen and battles over left-over storage space, Tony had installed the Avengers Refrigerator. The Avengers Refrigerator was really just a supersized refrigerator. Thor was disappointed to discover that it wasn’t one of the “magical ones that dispense water in both solid and liquid form,” but everyone was quite pleased with the extra food storage space.

            That is to say, everyone was pleased until the day that Natasha found her frozen cinnamon waffles were to be not-frozen. At first, the Avengers thought that perhaps the Avengers Refrigerator was broken and prepared to mourn their fallen comrade. Tony, however, informed them that nothing was wrong, the refrigerator was working perfectly. So, everyone carried on normally, assuming that it was just a fluke. It wasn’t.

            Thor was the one to discover the next frozen food mishap. Ever since settling on Midgard, he had developed a fondness for Stouffers macaroni and cheese. Preparing himself a Stouffers feast involved gathering at least ten family sized portions, preparing each one separately in the microwave and then dumping them all into an oversized salad bowl. The first time he tried this, he summoned lightening to cook the delicious entrees. The countertop was never the same and Tony had since forbid cooking by lightening in the tower (Yes Thor, the roof top counts as “in the tower”).  Just two days after the waffle debacle, Thor discovered that his delicious Stouffers were nothing but containers of half-frozen, noodley, sludge. Tony once again confirmed that there was nothing ailing the Avengers Refrigerator.

            After an intense bout of aggressive finger pointing and insults, Steve had sent everyone to their rooms for an early bedtime. He was team leader, he could do that. Everyone grumbled and reluctantly complied. Except for Bucky, who seemed perfectly happy to head to his room. Ever since coming to live at the tower, he had been making progress steadily. The old Bucky would have kicked up a fuss or at the very least teased him about being bossy, but new Bucky wasn’t randomly choking people out as a conditioned response to hearing the name of the-vegetable-that-will-no-longer-be-mentioned-and-only-used-under-very-special-circumstances-in-the Avengers-Kitchen anymore, so Steve didn’t dwell on it. Progress was progress.

            At least that’s what he thought, until he awoke to a painfully bright flash light beam pointed at his face, “Wah?”

            “Don’t speak, just listen,” a voice commanded from the darkness. It took a few moments for his sleep addled mind to catch up and identify the owner of the voice.

            “Clint?” Steve asked and immediately regretted it as the flash light beam got even brighter somehow.

            “Shhhhh. What did I say? Just listen,” Clint paused and Steve nodded to show that he understood, “You need to go to the kitchen and fix this.”

            Without further explanation, the flash light beam disappeared. Even though Steve heard no footsteps or any other signs of movement, he knew that Clint was long gone. What remained was his confusion. Did Clint think that he was messing with the frozen food? Ice cream and ice cubes were two things that came from the freezer that he trusted. Why would he be sabotaging the frozen meals? Regardless of all of the unanswered questions, Steve decided that it would be best to check on the kitchen. He was awake anyways.

            What he saw in the kitchen surprised him. All of the freezer’s contents were neatly stacked on the countertop. Steve knew without looking that Clint’s two pint carton of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia was amongst them, melting. He also knew the words that were carefully printed on the inside of the lid in black sharpie, without opening the container:

**Property of Clint Barton**. You will not touch the ice cream. You will not taste the ice cream. You will not smell the ice cream. You will not look at the ice cream. If you are reading this, you have looked at the ice cream. May God help you if you plan on doing anything else. **I will know**. Punishment will be swift and severe.

 

Steve shuddered. Clint kept his promises.

            With a sigh, Steve set out to put everything back in the freezer. He opened the freezer door, expecting to find the large compartment empty. It wasn’t. There was a person in there. Steve’s first thought was that Clint had caught the individual responsible for the Avengers Refrigerator mischief, killed them and stuffed them into the freezer. Then Steve recognized the back (that’s all that was visible) of the freezer interloper.

            Steve gently poked the back, “Bucky?”

            Bucky, most likely startled, shot out of the freezer crashing into Steve. Not expecting the sudden onslaught, Steve lost his balance and ended up flat on his back on the kitchen floor. His friend was sprawled in the same manner to his left side. They just lay there for a few minutes, both too embarrassed to speak.

            “How did you do that?” Steve asked, still staring at the ceiling.

            “Um…it’s really not hard. The freezer’s pretty big-”

            “No, no, I mean how did you launch yourself out of the freezer like that?”

            Bucky shrugged, still flat on his back, “Dunno, I just kind of did it.”

            “It was pretty cool.”

            “Thanks.”

            A few more beats of silence passed between them.

            “Bucky?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Why were you in the freezer?”

            Bucky flipped over onto his stomach, balancing himself on his elbows, “…I have trouble sleeping in my room sometimes…it’s not cold enough…I told J.A.R.V.I.S to make it as cold as possible and it still wasn’t enough…so sometimes I sleep in the freezer.”

            Steve was hurt that Bucky hadn’t just told him that he was uncomfortable in his room, but he made sure not to express it. He got upset and withdrawn when he thought he’d done something wrong.

            “You know, we could probably talk Tony into installing an industrial sized freezer somewhere in the tower for you, that way you’d be more comfortable…unless you’re comfortable in a smaller space-”

            “No…that actually sounds nice…”

            “It’s settled then,” Steve exclaimed, relieved, “We’ll talk to him about it the morning.”

            “…Can I have a bed in there, do you think?”

            “Yeah, we’ll put lots of stuff in there…it’ll be like an episode of that show Clint made us watch last week, what was it called?...Pimp my crib?”

            Bucky groaned, “Please, no…when did television get so bad, huh?”

            “I don’t know Bucky, I really don’t know.”

            “…Thanks, Steve.”

            “You’re welcome.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you had as much fun reading "Refrigerator Soldier" as I did writing it. I will be adding more Steve and Bucky centric crack fics to this series (I need to heal my soul after watching Winter Soldier). I'll take requests if you have them


End file.
